I am not so sure where to start. The last post on here I talked about how overwhelmed and stressed we were at our water leak and having to move. Not only does that seem like forever ago, it also seems laughable. Obviously, the Lord thought we could handle more. 

Many of you read the post I wrote just before I had surgery.

 Everything I said was truth. I felt I had always been honest on the blog before, and had no desire to paint a perfect picture for everyone. I thought our family needed the support of family and friends more than ever and was sick of giving vague answers to everyone. I do not feel like I trashed Ty in any way. I love him, always have.

 I also told Ty that he should read it, before I posted it. He choose not to. The next day I was receiving loving messages from everyone, I quickly realized my blog reached more people than I thought. I didn't want Ty to be blindsided, so that night I told him he should read the blog. He did and he was uncomfortable and upset with the amount of details about our life, and so he later deleted it without telling me.

 I am a much more open person than Ty, maybe more than a lot of people. In hindsight maybe it was a little too raw and personal for a family blog. While I would have left it up, because that was the snapshot of our family at the time, I never intended to cause worry or hurt to anyone, Ty least of all.

The last 10 months have been h*ll for both of us. So here we are, After being separated for nearly 2 months, we are now living together again trying to fix what's broke. Ty is now taking responsibility for choices he made, we are going to counseling and committed to making our family great again.

 

P.S. If you are worried about our great kids, Thank You. Ty and I have done our best at protecting them from all of this, but no doubt they have been affected by the tension.  We can only hope that surrounding them in our love, will heal them too.


P.P.S. Ty has approved this post.......we are working together now ;)




 A midst all this drama, life does go on. We were busy with lots of great Hope Kids activities and general family fun. Here are the highlights of the last 10 months-

We moved into our new house on June 30th, our 11th anniversary. The water leak and the property management company we were dealing with were a nightmare. We are so grateful for the church and our friends and family that were so helpful and supportive in getting us out of that situation. Especially given what was to come in the following months, I know the move was right for us.

July- Cloey and Cal participated in Buddy Bowling, a league for special kids where they have a typical peer as their "buddy".  Cal was Cloey's buddy and they both had a lot of fun.  Ty and I attempted to attend a home school convention, but as details of the situation between us emerged, we left, making the decision that with our relationship, midwifery and Cloey on Hospice, we would not be able to give the kids what they needed if we continued with the plan to home school them all this year.  They were promptly enrolled in their former school, Brisas.  The school has been wonderful in accommodating them and we now know Brisas was the best place for them this year.

Ty went camping.

We began marriage counceling.

I also "caught" my first baby.

August- I continued with midwifery and providing respite care for my grandma. Ty and I went on a camping trip without kids, while Cloey stayed at Ryan house and Cal & Lainey went to Miss Julie's. Cal started dyslexia tutoring and I was called to be the assistant activity day girls leader (the church equivalant to girl scouts).

My back started to hurt.

September- Cloey had another short Ryan house stay, followed with a family camping trip. Cloey had a really rough time with the altitude, but as always she was a trooper.  I was so excited to take the kids to slide rock because they would be the 7th generation in my family to go.  Unfortunately we were there for all of 5min when Cal slipped and hit the back of his head directly on the red rock.  Ty went over to him and as I watched them from across the creek, I thought "oh great, I am gonna have to convince Ty that he needs stitches because he is going to say he's fine" Just then I see Ty turn Cal around to face him and tell Cal that we needed to go to the hospital.  That is when I freaked out a little bit. If Ty thought we needed to go without even discussing it with me, it was bad.  I have to brag a little here though, the first thing my sweet son did was walk a few feet away, kneel and pray. I am glad the people watching didn't call CPS on us for allowing him to take the time to do this while he was obviously injured.  I am so proud of him. He has such a strong and responsible spirit.  He has Faith.  I learn so much from his example.  What a blessing to know he has this head start before he has really tough decisions to make as he grows.  This kid will be a leader some day. We took him to the ER, he ended up with 9 staples in the back of his head.  They didn't do a CT scan because he didn't completely lose consciousness when it happened, even though he needed to sit down because he was dizzy and almost fell.  They said he did not have a concussion or anything.  By now it was about 5pm, so we decided it would be harder on him to pack up camp and sit in the car for 3 hours, so we ate dinner in Sedona and headed back to camp.  Bad idea.  He started to throw up that night and complained of a terrible headache. He was lethargic, dizzy and basically miserable.  Cloey was also still having a rough time, this made for a really long night. We packed up first thing in the morning and went straight to PCH, where they confirmed a concussion.  Poor kid.

October-  Ty was accepted into TRT (technical rescue team) training.  These are the guys that fly in the helicopters to rescue hikers off the mountain, or people out of cars trapped in flash floods. This is great opportunity for Ty and he really loves it.  He was really excited.  It also meant a 9-5 schedule for 2 months.  My back was killing me as I suffered to keep up with prenatals, caring for my grandma, kids and house and everything else.  I went to the chiropractor and doctors to no avail.  Finally, on the 25th, I saw a spine specialist who sent me straight to the hospital where I was admitted.  I had an extruded and torn disc. My right arm had gone numb and I was losing strength and and control in it as well. Not to mention the EXCRUCIATING pain, and remember I have had 3 natural births.  I consider myself a pretty tough chick.  I had surgery the next morning.  I had a discectomy and  two of my cervical vertebrae were fused.  It was pretty scary.  I was lucky enough to have one of the best spine surgeons in AZ. He was Cloey's surgeon for her fusion.  In recovery I had feeling in my arm again.  The whole ordeal was rough, I honestly don't remember most of October and November.  I couldn't even wash my own hair.  Ty was in TRT school, which was an added stress. Not to mention our unstable relationship at the time.  It was so hard, I don't even know how else to explain it, just freakin hard.  I do know we had LOTS of help.  Family, Friends, Church, they all stepped up, again. The prayers for me and my family were felt too.  I can't express my gratitude for those who helped. Somehow things were taken care of, even if I wasn't aware of it. Thank You so much, you know who you are even if I don't :)

 I am told my kids got dressed up and went trick-or-treating for Halloween too.

November- More of a blur. Ty continued TRT school.  My sister graciously came over and handled all of the thanksgiving meal, since I was so out of it.  I was forced to give up my apprenticeship since I still had numbness and fine motor problems with my right arm.  I was also still in a lot of pain and had limited movement in my neck. I was so sad, I knew I would be a midwife someday, but at that point it seemed like it would be years before I was well and found another apprenticeship.  I returned to online classes, thinking I would focus on my degree until I healed.

December- Ty graduated TRT school and started getting interested in Fly fishing, his new favorite therapy/past time. We separated and then had family portraits taken that were already scheduled through Hope kids. The kids were really cute, but I'll admit it was pretty awkward between Ty and I.

Thanks to some secret Santa's we had a pretty good Christmas.  Ty was actually off Christmas day, so that was nice. We all enjoyed spending the day as a family.

January- Lainey started gymnastics! She is a little monkey and absolutely loves it.  She is at it good too, if you ask me :) I also had a fun time celebrating the first anniversary of my 29th birthday.

The hurt and stress between us was mounting, so I took a mini-vacay and stayed in a hotel in Scottsdale for a few days.  

February- We went to WICKED! It was Cloey's Christmas present from grandma Leslie. If you know Cloey, you know she loves the theater. It was an amazing show.  Even though Cloey wasn't feeling well, she had a good time nonetheless.  As I got further from my surgery and the stress continued, I needed something to help me get out of my depressed funk, manage my anxiety,  and build strength in my back to try to heal and see what limitations I would really be living with for the rest of my life. I had mixed feelings about starting physical therapy and needed more of a whole body, whole mind approach, so I thought I'd try hot yoga first.  Bikram says if you give his yoga 60 days, it will change your life.  That is exactly what I needed, so with the support of a bestie I tried it out. I was doubtful at first, but faithfully went everyday. Ty was very supportive in this endeavor and watched the kids whenever I needed to go. even helped me get my water bottle and towel sometimes when I was running late.  I recently finished my 60 day challenge and could write a whole blog post about the amazing benefits I have experienced both physically and mentally.

Circumstances were such that I contacted a lawyer and reluctantly started the divorce process.  We were at a crossroads, and Ty choose to come home.

I was also offered the aprenticship back half time, and I accepted.

March- We settled back into family life at home.  I eased back into midwifery.  Cal earned his bear badge in cub scouts.  Cloey was also discharged from Hospice, more on her journey to come at princesscloey.blogspot.com.

Cloey also turned 11! (look for a birthday post next)